Never did i expect that life can turn this way..
for all this time..
all i could ask is jus a trust n support..
never did i ask alot..

i wonder where was mistakes den..
since i never have any problems with people..
am i too nice dat i deserve to get this..?
or jus irrittating biatch dat deserve to get hurt.?

i've try to be the best of the best for them..
i've try to change for the better..
yet still why do i still deserve to get this shit..
where have i went wrong this time?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
since the incident happened to me for the past few weeks...
i guess i see myself useless sometimes in everything..
but i tried to cherish every moment of life with smile n happiness...
its hard..but i know i cant succumb to fate..(line sape eh nie..?haha)
even if mi loved ones..who ever lah..
leave me one dae..i still have to go on with mi life..
cause i am who i am..
i lead the journey of my life..
i shall not let anyone breaks enter mi life n destroy it..
it hurts wen pple try to down u..
esp on ur efforts..
i shall live up mi life..shall not on others' expectations..
well..
life okay..
frens..?i missing everyone..
esp mi nyahz...(whoever in mi list lah eh..)
8 lil gorgeous sis..
boifrens..(i know i let u guis down..sowie)
but adlest i hv good frens in the ward..(tanx)
rship?i guess im k with bf..k means we still contact-mit up-msn-..but the rship.?let me tink den.
haha..
home?cant be bother..for all i noe..i hope i still have a shelter for the time being..
well..
my next post..
i will make A FUCKING CONFESSION..
that might startle u pple..
im sowie if the post will be a disturbing one..
but who cares aite..?mi blog..
i write here..so hack off..

ppsstt..gueesss i had to stop here..

i will not let u ever hurt my life-feelings again..
if u dun wish it to be happen..just say so..
i dun have any grudge on u..
plish lah..
im a mature lil babe..




m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s...
i guess it doesnt help me for the moment..
its k den..
i will try to handle it myself..

Labels: ME LOVE U, ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 10:39 PM

i have Obessive Complusive Personality Disorder(OCPD).
not only that..i even have Bipolar Disorder.
only certain pple know that diagnosis..
but wat about others..?
guess wad..
look at the dictionary in ur bokk,internet sources,ask ur frens..
den frm there u will learnt the causes,symptoms n how to deal with it..

i wonder on others..especially married couples..
how can the partner cope with a partner that having any kind of mental sickness..?
like for example..
if u have a partner that owaes have high n low mood swings..wad would u do..?
i guess the answer is u guis will end-ed up fighting,quarelling n den broke up..
dats so sad isnt it..?
how about if u hv a partner who alwaes dere n den keep sms-ing,calling for u..
jus to make sure u're okay..
get it rights..sumtimes wen ur partner alwaes do dat..it tires u..
but about on that person..?
he/she wont want to keep sms-kol u every time..
it jus dat u could be so impt 2 them..thats the reason they kip doin dat..
wad would u do if one day they stopped caring for u..?
regret it..?
human being is always like dat..
i jus dun unstand it..
beg mi pardon with mi intriguing endless questions..
how i wished i have a very long sleep n never woke up 2 these such questions..
i shall den slip again..
forget about all these definitions..
wake up with a new resolutions..
what hurt the most is..
wen u finally understood the meaning of love n life..
d other life of urs vanish-ed totali frm ur life..
n den u get back all square one 2 ur fuck-ed life..
horrible aite..?
i guess this is LIFE..
how sucks it is..
we stiill ned 2 go on with this life..
i guess this is fated..
but not 2 succumb frm fate..
well i noe the ans now..

i guess i can go back 2 mi sleep..
im sorie bf 4 irritate u..
it jus dat im wurie 4 ur safety..
missing u more den u do..

rai..
i see a rainbow at the end of the day..
now i noe the meaning of it..

Labels: ME LOVE U, ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 8:05 PM

im obsess-ed with THE LIL NYONYA..
oni GOD knows how it feels..
i cry-angry-down-happy-
but mostly i feel so in love with the LIL NYONYA's character.
the is the first time of all CHINESE soap dramas(other than THE UNBEATABLES)that amazes me to the core..
esp about PERANAKAN..
maybe i have some PERANAKAN blood..?(i do hv act)
thats the reason why i love watching it again n again..

wen i watchd it.
how i wish i can be bold-brave-strong-hard hearted like YUENIANG N JUXIANG..?
how i wish that i can possess that characters of hers..
can u give in 2 everyone all the times even they hurt u many times..?
most prob not..
i guess it natural 4 human being to b a lil bit protective n aggressive a lil 4 their life..
can u give up on ur love n give 2 other's happiness..?
this is the part where i crie lah..
wen both of u in love..
about 2 be almost together..
dere u go..tinking 4 other's happiness..
like wth..

seriusli..
i applaude 2 those who have this kindness..
even in mi life i sacrifice for others never i go to that extreme..
i guess.
it needs time n courage 2 dat..
maybe i shld learn to b nice n equal even those do evil on me..
it doesnt mind cause..
every EVIL plan/tactics..
usually never end happily..
LIKE IN LIL NYONYA..
who gains at the end..?
LIL NYONYA..
i guess i know waht i wan in mi life den..

NEVER been discourage by other's acts on u..
ALWAYS smile wen others did bad tings on u..
GIVE IN..it doesnt make u lose a thing..

well...
wen i tink about ystd..
i tink life is lik dat..
u feel happy a moment..
then next..
u feel down..
da biasa lah..

i miss bf.
he went chalet..
im so bored..
i wanna go out..
quick..


oh mi shit..i gotta go now..
rai..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 11:22 AM

i feel relieved at the moment after ystd incident..
i dun blame on anyone..
it jus everyone's fault..
i guess life sux aite..?
tanx for those ystd on msn..
tanx for ur guis company..
tanx for ur advise..
tanx for understand 4 wad i hv been tru for the past almost 4 yrs.
tanx for not taking side on whoever..
n lastly tanx for letting me say out everyting..
all i wanna say..
im fyn..
n i would go on with mi life..
tanx...

it sux uh..wen after another probs messed in to mi life..
i jus feel exhausted..
hopefuli FEBRUARY wiilll adlest be nice to me..
i wan to have a gud VALENTINE'S,MY BDAE N anni...
this FEBRUARY...
shoo u go bad luck..
gimme face can..?

i hope that person unstand me aite now..
i need that person aite now.
but i guess that person is trying 2 avoid himself..
wen that person need mi help..
i owaes dere for it..
but why cant be dere 4 me once..?
it isn't fun at all wen u reli nid dat person to b dere n support u yet not dere..
jus mi luck i guess..

so to this person...
u noe who u r..
plish help me..
for once..
i need ur precious time..
just 4 a short time..
jus tink dis a favor frm me..?

i miss bf lateli..
although ystd meet..
but it feel so weird wen tings happen..
n u trie to lie n cheat urself..
but all i noe i cant lie about mi feeelings..
33 mths is so long..
i jus love u..
owaes..

well i guess i need a break den..
tanx for everitink pple..
tanx for ur advise/criticism/comments/points..
love u guis..
muax

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 2:56 PM

weelll..im off soon to HENDERSON WAVES 2 celebrate our anni yg ke 33 mths..
jus dun ask whether we r on or off..
but tnx anwae 4 ur concern..
ystd..
after makeup session..
went to tamp mit bf den headed 2 GIANT TAMP to do groceries shopping..
packed!!!
cant stand it sak..
den we sent the items mi hm n straight 2 TM n bf hm..
at nite went 2 town n bugis..
walked here n dere..studied @ 24/7 cafe..
den d morning we hangout n went hm around 2..
now goin out again..
weeeweee..
tyred..
kk gtg..
later update den..
tc pple...

UPDATED~!!
we cancelled our trip to HW..
cause bf said da maghrib lah..
nnti npk kakak lah..
nie lah tu lah..
so we headed 2 vivo instead..
the place mcm kubur k..
senyap je..
we window shopping then wen to have a coffe @ PACIFIC COFFEE..
NICE-YUMMY
tok about our life-gossip here n dere..
i guess i seem 2 stop the time frm flies away..
cause oni us knew the ans..
den went 2 play arcade..
bf won seh..ishk..not fair!hmphh!
den went to ljs..but fuck up sak..
8 plus..gonna closed..
so fast sak..
so we headed 2 our fav ice cream shop..
BEN N JERRY..
ate our fave ice cream..
WEEEWEEEEEE.....
lepak sak kiter..haaha..

proceed slowly to th bustop n took 65..
jus wanna waste time n 2 have each other time 4 a lil bit time..
kk daatts all..
i wanna treasure this memories
25-1-09
i will keep uu in mi heart..
nytz..
ridz-raiz..

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 5:03 PM

a piece to be shared..
a gui fren of mine having love probs recently..
n it hurts so much to know it..

he has been with that gal for very long period of time..
dey even noe each other family..(typical..)
so dey somehow rather do have plans for future..
but as this Malay proverbs say..
"kiter cuma rancang..yg menentukan DIA"(we make plan but initially the final said is HIM)
their love can b said strong uh..
theres up n down..
n wen dey closer..dey feel comfortable..
but wen dey start to be apart..
i tink MISCOMMUNICATION..
he feel dat his gal start to drift apart..
dey even quarrell..den fite..
den breakup..
den patch..
den rocky2..
den k..
den goin to break..
i tink oreadi break..
so he wondered..
why does his gal tries to do that to the rship wen he tried to save it very hard..?
why out of sudden the gal changes her mind..?
he even wondered..
he never cheated her gal..(gal die perna uh)
he never have many girlfrens..(semua kwn pompuan kwn gal dier..n sum his sch frens..)
he plan BIG for the future..just to b with her..
he werked very hard for it..
but the gal jus wanna let it go.
it sounds familiar to mi sis's fren who also once breakup with her gal..
how dreadful it was..
i mean u noe that life partner of urs..
almost their everyday's life..
accepted their ugliest & nicest att/behaviours/characters..
n now i wondered wats the probs..?
he even said dat his gal asked him to find a new gal if he tink she cant be with him all the times..
she tink wad uh..?mi fren jus kept silence..he cried..silently..
sad aite..?
the oni advise i can give..
jus wait..
until she get marry off to someone den he nid to let her go..
seriusly its painful for him..
mentally-psychologically-physically-emotionally-watevaly lah..
i hope they will reconcile soon..

having a rship is hard..
den if in that situation..
will it be better not to have ani rship at the first place..aite..?
DECEPTION IS d enemy of love...

kk enuf of dat rship tingy..
im not realie inviting 2009..
im not reli inviting FEB..
FARMOSTLY..
im not reali into 23 FEB..
boRRRRing.......
i waiting pple..
take me away frm this hectic life..
i beg u..
haha

met bf..
he cooked..yummy..
tok with his mum..
den AYAH+SHASHA cum..
played with SHASHA for awhile den headed hm..
nuting much..
but im happy den..
love u bf..
mising u every moment..

i guess i rather stop herre...


m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s..
just let it be wateve it takes..
i jus dun care about it anymore..

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 10:31 PM

im damn tyred..
today was so packed with tings..
since dere was no PRCP students..
so we were struggled to do all the stuffs..
PARA+TUBEFEEDING+FEEDING+ASSISIT TO TOILET+I/O CHART+DISCHARGE+ADMISSION+SERVE MED WITH CI..
WAH!
alot sak..
don forget case study session with lecturer.
run to get pt wen pt start to run away frm ward(ended up being restrained)
went up n down pharmacy..(cool)
but the best part was..
ur pt dat difficult to handle..
adlas!
u able to handle like chix feet..haha..
theres even a pt of mine wan to gimme 5 bucks for helping her..
haha..
funny leh..
den another pt say 'thank you' wen being discharged.
another pt able to eat herself although a bit of assist here n dere...
wow!
im jus 3 daes in that team..
n mi pt was almost well..
cool or wad...?

kk enuf of hosp stuffs..
well..
me n bf seem to be negotiating with the rship..
well jus see lah uh..
MISCOMMUNICATION+LACK OF COMMUNICATION=SUCK BIG TIME..
haha..
beh aku rasa..
aku nie PMS..
I GUESS U GUIS NOE BY NOW..
PERANGAI MACAM SIAL(ATT SUX lah sng ckp)

well..
im cooling down..
my schedule at home after werk is..
REST+REVISING+SLEEP..
here n dere sms bf..
dats all u can do lah wen ure away frm ur love..
kinda boring..
but nvm..
CNY is here..
IT MEANS HOLIDAY!!
YEAH!

WELL..GTG..
cant blog animore..
will update some other time..
rai..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 10:23 PM

i once let u go from my arms..
n i tot i will be all alone..
but den GOD give me someone
to enlighten my life..
dat's all that i could ask..
not too much..
neither less..

but wen im happy with the 'new'..
u come back once again..
hoping to get us back..
but all i could said..
"im his now"..
he just smiled n never returned again..

until lately..
i was hoping for him to come back..
to say that we are meant again..
but all i could do is..
crying all day night..
hoping me n 'new' will jus be better..

i asked 'new' about us..
all he could do is..
"do watever u want"
so i keep telling myself..
let jus give another chance..
praying hard dat everything will be fine..
but if things start to be worsen..
den i wished that he will be there..
saving me from the turnmoil..

all could i say...
i need u..
but where art thou?


TEMPERATURE CHECK:
37.9..

yeah im sick..
this few daes i having fever on and off..
it seems that all i could do is jus keep quiet..
cry at night trying to bear with the fever..
how i wish bf take care of me aite now...
i hate fever..

i missing bf lately..
well..
cant wait 250109..
WEEWEEE..

k those who i have make appointment..
plish take note..
do not change the timing/date..
cause im oreadi packed with the schedules..
im oni free after MARCH.
so those who miss-ed me alot..
n wanna hangout soon..
do not change k!!
haha


well..another NOTICE!!!
THOSE WHO HAVE A TIX ON LIVE@LOADED THIS CUMING 27TH JAN
PLISH..
IF ANY OF U DUN WANT IT..
PLISH GENEROUSLY GIVE ME..
I REALI NID 1 MORE TIX!!!



well..i guess i shall stop here..
fever is so bad..
plus the cough(when cough strike, my asthma comes back..n i hate it!)
n plus the blocked nose..
i HATE IT!!
well..
i rather get sick now den getting sick during CNY...



M.I.R.A.C.L.E.S..
let we start afresh..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 10:07 PM

while was riding a bus to go hm..
i was listening KATe PERRY's song..
HOTNCOLD..
i realised dat one of the lyrics..

we fite..
we breakup..
we kiss..
we make up..

well..it sounds true den..
wen we fite with our partner..
d answer to dissolve the matter is to breakup..
but wen a kiss is given..
we den make up..
hahahahaha
lame shit!
seriusli!
NATURE of LOVE..
so is dis gonna be part of our tradition?
hopefuli not..
pfft..

TODAY was so busy with work..
feed patient(pai kene kacau uh)
take para
NG tube feeding
serve med
change diapers
serve bedpan
tolerate the nuisance of my 2 LOVELY CUTE pt
hypocount
went up n down to PHARMACY
luckily i have mi break..
but den i reli didnt enjoy it..
kos..
nvm den..
but i start to like the werk..(haha)
well its nice to see/hear ur pt say "thank you" to u..
u feel great wen ur pt heed ur advise..
u feel awesome wen pt start to recover frm their sickness..
lastly..its fun wen dey disturb u...(@#$%^&12345&&^$#@!!)
ha!

im so down lately.
but im gona put it aside soon..
im tinking of miself now..
if last time i keep tinking for others..
now i will jus care for me myself n i first..
sumtimes pple dun unstand how much sum1 love/care for them..
but wen kene them..they aru nk tau..da terlmbt klu si "dia" da tinggalkan kau eh..
serve u aite..hah!..
adlest i learnt it..
tk terlmbt..

well..
i realise that BIRTHDAY this yr gonna be a hell for me..
wont get fun..
wont be fun..
cause im having attachment..
7-3..
not that bad..but hey!
i wanna enjoi it the whole dae..
den its not sch time..
its during attachment..
den..
nvm den..
jus sit n see..
well i dun ask more..
jus dat..
u noe..
wad u wan for ur bdae aite..?
not for expensive stuffs(unless its a bonus to u uh!)
jus quality time to spend with mi dearies...
but wateve it is..
im gonna get miself..
A DSLR soon..
klu tk..sumting dat gonna cost me a bomb for mi bdae!
hehe..
weeeeweee

i rather stop here..
bfr my post full with craps and carps and craps...
carps..?
haha
craps lah!




m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s..
i wish upon HIM dat let me be wateva i am aite now..
im glad that im still with you..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 10:39 PM

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 7:57 PM

SHOUT OUT 2 MI FELLOWS!!

Hey!dun wurrie..
wateve i wrote those stuffs r jus pieces of me..
i rather jot down in my blog than bottle it up in my mind n heart..
am i aite..?
well im maybe down-sad-dissapointed towards life but i appreciate every tiny weeny of it...
cause i noe every human being r bound to make mistakes..
so im not dat reali wurrie..
cause...
i learnt not to make the same mistake ever again..
jus dun wurrie k..?
im jus plain okay..

well bf played soccer jus now..
he scored the 1st goal...
den the rest followed by others..
5-0..
haha
congrats to them!


it seems dat time doesnt allow me to blog animore..
till here den..
will update wen im free..


m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s.
all i could ask is..
faith..
fate..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 12:02 AM

im planning to run away frm hectic days..
i dun wish to see/solve probs..
all i wan to do is..
FLED...
i have estimately $300 aite now..
anyone has any idea wic best place for me to de-stress mi mind-soul-heart..?
i will b much more elated to have the idea given..
kos i dun wish to see any of probs..
im hating it..
im may b strong to others..
but no longer now..
im may b hard-hearted..
but im not dat anymore..
jus smplified it uh..
im starting to be..
soft hearted
fragile
dependence of others
ignorant

dont ask me y its happens to me..
kos i dun even noe the answer..(maybe i jus dun wan to noe the ans den.)

wen i nid sum1 dat reli close to my hearts they usually not there.
wen i wanna have their huggies n comfort, they disappear..
wen i wanna share my probs/feelings..they are always busy..
but wen it cums to them having probs/need help..
i owaes make miself free.
kos i owaes tink..
they deserve a good person to share/diclose/cry/laugh on their personal matters
wich is me..
but jus wonder..
y its owaes neva happen to me..

sowi to say.
sum will noe im secretive..mysterious in a way of not liking to share secrets/probs with them..
but wad can i do wen me myself dun wish to tok about it..
indeed im very bad in expressing it..
but deep down of my broken heart..
it jus say..
"i need you"

i missing the good daes...
i missing mi loved ones..
i missing every single dae dat were spent with them that closer to me..
i missing the bad times too..
i missing u..

attachment kinda okay to me..
nothing much to be told..
but im really panic jus now wen one of mi pt run away..
me n mi fren had to rush down..
i searched n suprisingly she was sumwhere safe in the hosp premise..
i was angry-scared-relieved..
haha..
kos i do have another pt tat has oreadi ran away in the morning..
so can u imagine how scary is dat..?
its fun actuali to see different kind of pt having diff illness..
sumtimes it breaks mi heart to see them in that condition..
but sumtimes it makes me laugh the way they react n behave..
atleast im not bored to death during mi shift..
i hate attachments cause..
i cant able to meet BF..
n den we r far apart..
we rarely call..sms..
but oni in msn..
or weekend..
it sux man..
haix..
i dun wan to be a nurse..
haha..
jk den..


well..im still nt recovered frm sickness.
im having on n off fever...
im so weak..
tired easily..


tmrw bf's soccer match..
hope they can win den..
i beleieve they can do it..
GO 4 IT BOIS!!


i got to stop here..





m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s...
jus face it..
i have to be strong again..

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 10:31 PM

if u guis wonder..
whether me n bf DA BREAK..
ITS ACTUALI YESH..
well..
ITS ACTUALI NO..
if u wanna noe jus figure it out..
i mean if u guis noe..den no nid to ask den.
n even if we break or together..
i really appreciate it..
but plish dun keep asking me again n again about mi status..
kos im tyred of it..
it jus up to fate..
whether..
to be with him or not..
to continue the rship or otherwise..
it jus an another story.
but just pray dat we r okay..
dun wurrie..
even we break up or together..
i will owaes be strong..
indeed..
im trying to stand for myself..
i dun blame others..
i just BLAME MYSELF..
well..bf is such a nice bf..
well..if u gals out dere wanna have him..
jus dun try it..
it wONT be ur luck den..(HAHA)

well..
too much of rship..
im tyred..
i do not mean dat i dun like rship..
but sumtimes..
it jus make me exhausted lah..
but no matter wad happen..
we still care n love for each other.
btw..
its not easy to unstand someone..
yet i tried mi best to make miself adapt with the person himself.
i guess..
sacrifices not really paid off..
it jus matter of who u with n whether they appreciate u or not..


im so down lately..
i shall make mi self happy this CNY..
everytings r planned..
hopefuli it cum true..

i guess..
i stop here..
i noe u cared.
so do i.



imy.
ily.
uwbmf.


m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s..?
faith is all i need..

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 1:44 AM

i would like to share with u my fellow readers..
if this post may sound disturbing den i shall warned you to click escape frm my blogspot..

well..
i have just learnt new ting..
never..
never...
NEVER EVER TRUST PEOPLE..
even if its ur closed ones..
shall i say..ur family-siblings-frens-boifren/galfren-
cause the end of the dae..
the person who gonna get hurt..
feel hurt is YOU!
thus jus make things clearer n simpler..
TREAT them as NORMAL PEOPLE..
LOVE URSELF MORE..NOT ON OTHERS..
in fact..
i LEARNT TO LOVE MYSELF MORE DEN I LOVE OTHERS..
cause people can cheat ur feelings..
but not YOU!..

Trusting someone to take care of ur life..
is just way of impossible..
how could that person able to care-caress-shower ur life eternally or wateva shit wen they themselves r struggling with their own life..?aite..?

thus mi fellows..
its not wrong to make mistakes..
but a mistake that have been amended will never ever comeback haunt u..
instead u feel proud dat finally u noe ur own SELF..
How i wish i learnt it yesterday..
but its nt kinda late..
all i have to do is..
to say..
I LOVE U MYSELF..
never ever in mi life i said dat..haha..
well..
im much more relieved..
but im having fever aite now..
its not common bug but another kind of bug..(oni certain pple knew it..)
hopefuli i might not be so teruk uh..
kos i believe..
im still searching for happiness...
but still not yet found..
hmm...

well..bf is so patience with me..
a good bf indeed..
jus wish dat nuting ever disturb this peaceful life of us..



m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s....i need it here aite now

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 11:45 PM

can I make the time pass reali damn fast..?
cause..
i dun feel like going attachment..
all i want to do right now is to sleep-shopping-resting-hangout with bf..
its fun having attachment but sumtimes it bores me to the max..
im stiilll waiting to go to IMH posting..
i cant wait..
am i reali idiot of choosing to bond with CGH..?
y cant just i wait KKH letter of approval or better else..
dun take the sponsorship..
im tinking of having another diploma..
haix..
will update u more soon.

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 9:54 PM

i hate this life..
never reli make me sit still..
mesti je ader paper terjadi..
i hate itwen pple start to use me again & again..

i hate this part right here..again..
how i wished..everitink seems to be fine..
but wad i get at the end..?
hatred
down..
agi2 aku sok attachment..
i dun feel lik goin seh..
i jus feel hurt..

i just trying to make these happens..
but all i get is just lies-deception-hatred..
all they care that they were appreciated..
but wad about me..?
i dun ask alot frm u pple yet
i still getting it..
shld i hate or let it happen again n again.?


i hope the pple im refering to do take note dat im had enuf of being too good for u pple..
kos u pple reli take advantage of it..
n im still not over it..
all i can tink is..
JUST FUCK OFF!HOPE KARMA GET BACK TO YOU..
den jgn salahkan aku..
kos i have repeated it again n again..
DUN ever DO IT againn..
tell me again dat im not been used again for all ur happiness..

just now wen T3 with bf..
studied n watch Lil NyOnYA Agaain..
den about 5 wen bugis..
wandering..
jus fil sad uh..
dun wished to talk about it..
den went hm n sliipppp..
how i wished..
sch give us a whole week to rest frm the OPen hse's tiredness..
well..i gtg..tc

LIARS wont get even..always be ODD..

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 1:10 AM

JUST FUCK OFF!!!
AS IF I CARE IF U WANNA CUM BACK AGAIN
I DUN GIVE A SHIT..
IDUP TKD MAKNA PUN SKRG..

Tmrw starting attachment..
i guess it will be out of hell..
i dun reli see the point of us goin back to attachment
wen NURSES there tries to find fault on us..
nuting better to do isit..?

well open hse ended ystd..
quite tiring..
still havent get a full rest..
im tyred..
but im happy..
adles the whole 3 daes r been used properly..
TAUFIK N HAIZAD came..
did their performances..
so cair to see them..esp wen we got close-up with Haizad..
kk enuf of them..

well bf tanx eh..
watched IP-MAN without watching with me.. (padahal aku da tnyer siang2!tkpe uh!)
so anyone wants to watch with me on Monday..?haha


well got to sign off now..
rai..




m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s....jus say dat i nid it again..

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 1:55 PM

9th JAN 2009

it was HAIZAD IMRAN!!!
FUYOH..
COOL OR WAD..?
I LOVE NYP(as if eh..?haha)

well..HAIZAD came to Nyp..to perform..
n his has a GROUP BAND..
COOL OR WAD.?
hehe..
i'm so cair uh wen he sang..
n his looks..owaes the HOT!
HAHA...

we tot hes not cuming due to the fact that he NEVER replied MI MSG..(HAHAHAHA)
me-yana-sihah-fifi waited hopefuli he cum sak..
n seriusli wen SUE frm the 98.7FM called out his name..
aku da pekik mcm nk mampos..
well..
he look so hot with that attire (bf i still n foreva love u k..?)
i reli enjoi uh..

so after performance..
i cant sit still..
i went to see at the back to be able to get a glimpse of him..
but difficult sak.
so waited n den...
the NYP's GOT TALENT revealed the WINNER..
its.....SHAKIRA!!!!
CONGRATS BABE!
so me n the rest left the place n tried again.
this time round.
i ask yana to cum with me n we got hold of himm..
so great..
he still remember me..
so we chat-took pics-laughing like mad women..
its fun!!
n seriusli..
im in love with HAIZAD N TAUFIK..
weeeeweeee..

welll thee best part is..hehe
nvm den..
will reveal onedae..
orelse..
gals out dere will kum after me..
haha

oh ya..
pics as usual.
will be posted asap wen i gotta hold of them k..?
i will post TAUFIK N HAIZAD PICS N VIDEOS..
welll....
im changing BLOGSKIN again!!!
hahahaahaha..


SO PPLE OUT DERE!!DO JOIN NYP!
MY POLY MY CHOICE (cheh!so semangat)



ps:bf..so sowie k..?

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 11:41 PM

i shall shoutout here!!!!
are u guuuiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssss readdddddddyyyyyyyyyyy?????
weeeellllllllllllll..
todae is a memorable dae for me..
mark this date..
8 JAN 2009..
yesh..
this date..
i met TAUFIK BATISAH(im so over the heels)
in NYP(dats mi sch)
and...
the best part is he came with so hot gorgeous handsomely looking..
aku cair sak..
mi heart beats very fast each time i scream for him..
mi heart went..
DIP..DUP..DIP.DUP..
haha..
n wen he appeared..
we went wild...grabbed his hands..sholuders..the body..haha..
im so in love with him(bf i still love u k..?)
as he entered to the stage with his blue-retro shades..
we are half melted...mesmerized with his innocent-cute face..
touching!
haha
the best is he remove the shades wen he was about to sing..
n his smile..
omigoodness...
he nodded n smiled towards us..(dun believe..?i'll post the video n pics soon k..?)
saper tk cair sak..
so after his performance..
went to the booth..
waiting to get his autograph on th cd coverpage..
wen tasha n mi turn..
we went n he said hi n extra..
omi..
imagine the way he smiled..
den he tok to u..
den we ask can we take pics n he said yes..
despite his IRRIT-ANNOYING manager trying to shove us off(lu relax one corner sua!taufik tk ngada2!haha)
i got to take beside him..hehe..(p tk dekat nah!)
well..i got to shake hands with him!!
trust u..
if can touch him..
i reli wan to hug him n take photo nearer to him..
hahahahahahahah
im so into him each time met him..
i stiilll can remember the ferst time getting his autograph..haha..
HE WILL BE MY NUMBER 1 IDOL IN S'PORE..
i'll promise to update the pics n video once i getta hold of them k..
lots of lurve rai..
im so in love with todae..
TAUFIKKKKKK
kaulah SINAR HATIKU..(HAHAHAH!mcmpaham)
WO AI NI..
I LOVE U..
SAY SYG AWAK..
TAMIL??



BF tanx for cooking today..
reli love it n i love u too..
I RELI appreciate it..
muax...




m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s..?hehe..TAUFIKKKKK ..?????

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 11:47 PM

as im typing this..im still in great pain..im having abdominal pain..
i tink it mit be the sign & symptoms of coming menses..
but the pain is unbearable..
since went out with wan n ajat.
the pain starts to attack me..
but eventually as i was otw hm the pain is reali killing me..
i walked like an old GRANDMA..
i cant walk properly n cant even have a good upright posture..
so i was waiting for bus..
i reli can feel im about to fall..
but i jus tell miself once reach hm..den i will lie mibed..
so wad happened next..?
wanna noe..?
dis part is so embarrassed uh..
i alighted @ mi bustop n crossed the road..
as i was walking ..den i was so tyred..
aku terduduk sak kt one of the carpark nye kerusi..
den 2 bois saw n asked me im k tk..
i looked at them n cried..
malu lah..
i tink dey live at the same block as me(pernah terserempak dlm lif)
so they helped me naik atas.
reached mi level..
i said to them..tanx..
imagine uh org tk kenal tlg kau n SAW u terduduk kt carpark kerusi tu..
aku nangis..part siak..
sakit siol..
i tol them to leave then by telling them i dun wan mi dad to noe uh..
so drg make sure i reached infront mi door steps n drg belah.
wad happened next..?
open the door went straight to mi bed..
n curled like shit..
while im typing im still curled mi self in watever position just to relieve the pain..
pple wont unstand/feel/tink of the pain..
cause they never experienced it unless uh drg perna kene..
so..
the moral of the story is to take taxi hm n ask sum1 to fetch u hmfrm downstairs..
nie uh..step mana nyer kuat..
padahal lembik..
haix..
all i nid is some peace-Tender loving care(TLC)-rest..

hey wanna tell u den..
had practice for BCLS..
den went to retake the test..
GLAD dat i PASSED..
AMIN..

i watched PONYO!!!
ADORABLE..
SIMPLE..
I LOIKE IT SO MUCH..

well better stop here..
i cant take it with the pain..
i nid some painkiller..
how i wished he cares me then..nvm..

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 10:19 PM

WELL..I FAILED mi bcls..
ONE-MAN CPR..
aik per rai...
haix..
dun wish to jot it down..
but all i can say..
its mi fault too..
beh hey!
nvm den..

feel so down today..
mit bf den..
ate KFC..
while mencekik..
we tok crapz..
well bf n me may not like last time..
dun ask me whys...
but its gud lah..
i love bf..
den after eating
eat ice cream..
bought some stationery @ big bookshop..
DEN WE WALKED SLOWLY to the bustop..
how i wish we can spend more time..
but i have to rush hm..
kos of ...
THE LITTLE NYONYA...
final episode babe..
n i cried..
yesh i cried man..
melalak to the max..
so touching..
i loike..
kk..
igtg lah..
sok nk g skola n practice dat stupid ONE MAN CPR..
i hate it lah..
but tmrw gonna watched movie with ajat n bf..
yeah
adlaz..
kla..maux..
bf..i love u..haha
apis..takin care den..




m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s..?i nid it on wed..plish

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 12:35 AM

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 6:12 PM

im stresss-tyred-bored

Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 4:21 PM

I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com

♥escape reality 2:29 AM

i heard this bootylicious singer; BEYONCE KNOWLES for several times..
n i been mesmerized with the lyrics n the melody..
how i wish i were a boy..
well..life sux nwae..aite..?haha
how i wish him n her are meant for each other..
well if u dun noe anitink just FUCK OFF!! (WE DUN EVEN CARE!!!)
HOW I WISH..
just end with this..
i may get hurt for wad had happened to me..
but wen it happens to ur closed ones(even if not dat close)
u will understand wad they went tru..
well..
just face it..
bye bye 2008..
hi 2009..
well..
imy...

M.I.R.A.C.L.E.S..i dun nid it..apis nid it the most..

Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 2:11 AM

WELL..not suprisingly its 2009...
it didnt bother me at all..until wen ystd waiting to go to pit..
i felt that...hey!2009 is almost here..haha
so let me tell ya wad happened bfr n after the strike of 12 midnite on the JANUARY 1ST..
but btw..i would like to wish HAPPY BDAE 2 abg yan..

resolution..?
hmm..i wont jot it down..so boring.
jus wan me myself n i to b more happy-independent-wate so eve lah in life..
happie with bf(love u)
love bros-sistas-everyone k..?haha

welll.....
me was so tyred after watching LAYAR ANDAYU production..
didnt turn up for class(dats so bad rai!)
but still nid to cum down to attend the SA meeting..(tanx eh tasha!haha)
so after that rushed hm to get readi..im tellin u..i was so damn tyred n i even telling miself dat no nid to celebrate lah..
but wen bf called me..
i quickly bathe-changed-packed...
until around 7.30?..
bf n frens took me in their car to our destination..
well as usual..
bf-me-ajat-fer-apis-andrew-rash-ayam(his galfren too)-etc-etc.
so we headed to our pit 33..
set up bbq..
eat-laughed-irrit-played cards-slacked
wat so ever lah..
while waiting 2009 to arrive!!!
din-adi tron padang..
alif den tag along..
oh den..
at 9 me-bf-apis- went to buy a cake for ur beloved bro--ajat
so rash drove us to white sand n tk suprisingly tkd kek shop dere..
so we headed to E!HUB..
bought COOKIES N CREAM..yummmy!!!!!!!!
den we u turn-ed to our pit..
hid the cake n act normal..
while waiting we bbq-eat-play cards..
me joined some of them watching SHUTTER(aku yg takut sendiri)
den ayam's gf went hm..
n left me alone(aku slalu pompuan je kt dlm grp drg..ajak tty tk dtg..pape uh..)
so about to finish the SHUTTER..
we turn on to channel 5..
presenting the countdown event..
well..
strike 12 midnite..
we celebrated the arrival of NEW YEAR..
n also AJAT'S 20TH bdae..
HAPPY BDAE TO U BRO!!!
as we countdown..
i feel so relieved-excited-happy-sad-
all i wish dat everyone is here with me...
but the best is dat i still have bf n bros around me ystd..
we played with the cakes..pics will show to u..
oh ya..!!PISC will be post soon wen i finally get them k..
i love the pisc..cause i took them lah..haha...
i love all of them..
imagine u the oni gal among the cute-irrit-prasaan thorns...
so they r d one that act lik gals..
haha..
camwhorin while bbq..
hahahahaha..
oh ya..
den around 2-3am..almost the rest came..
aim-akif-dan-ali-
etc.etc..
play cards-joke around-lying around-
oh *sensor* part will not be disclosed..
haha..
but those who r dere..
reali understand it..haha
haix..
den around 5 mi eyes da kuyup..
haha..
went into the tent..
andrew n ayam siang2 da tdo..
the guis like Din-adi-rash-fer-etc
had deir fun in the tent..haha
so the remaining start membuta!
nk tdo susah sak..
mamakpariah bp pit away frm us..
memekak to d max..
org semua da sambut NEW YR..
member masi celebrate..
haiz...eventually some of us went hm..cannot take it with the noise..
left with us..yg sehati sejiwa..
woke by IRRIT-ANNOYING ajat(bdae boi) with his singing n apis with his voice..haha
we cleaned the place n then headed to cars..
we reali had a nice celebration..
but the pics(soon i will update them) will definitely shows u how happy n ejoi we r on dat dae!..
the rest of us took separate cars..
fer send andrew n den me hm..
tanx fer for everiting!
i love bros..
but i totali love bf the most..
once reached hm..
i slept til 5-6pm..
trust u..
im so tyred..

im still struggling to finish up revisingfortmrw test..(tanx eh cher!)
nie ckgu tk pena celebrate NEW YR uh..
wth..
i better go back revising them..
well..i cant wait next outing..
weee..weee
n to APIS..
im gonna be sad dat ur goin in soon.. (dun ask me y)
haha..
well.gtg..
im soooo.....
in lurve with todae!!!!!!!!!!!!
despite test tmrw(who cares!)




m.i.r.a.c.le.s..?hahahahhah

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 8:38 PM