reality bites.hidden secrets.mystery unfolds

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RAI RALPHENA is mY nAMe
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Thursday, October 30, 2008

im reli stuck no where..
i feel lik crying..
but i dun noe to who..
its jus dat i find dat it jus unfair 4 me..
i tried so hard to please n make pple around me happy n lively..
but ironically..im not happy with mi self..
i feel wateva i did 4 them..
jus a kind of waste..
who am i to them..?
sumtimes im wondered if this reali jus a challenge..
or jus sumting basis of A life..
i really need to cry..
i reli need..
i tink i shld..
i cant c no reason y pple cant c dat im doing tis 4 them..
kos i love them..
i care them..
im reali feel down..
down..
shld i jus keep to myself..

i dun noe...
someone..
hel me out of this lurch..

m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s...where art thou?
Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 1:29 AM

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I once tot mi attitude sucks but theres still other pple who r sucks to the core.Sumtimes i ask mi self..is this d path i reali wan..is dis the person who reali love n care u..is dis reali wad i wan in mi life..

i jus found out tat even ur loved ones trick u-hurt u-jealous over u..
all i can say..
i have no one in mi life..
all jus a lie..
if i noe wad is gonna happen i would ignore this person n listen to heart..
even i cant be assure wad do dey wan frm me..
tell me pple..
i neva mi loved ones..
i neva cheat dem
i do lie..white lies.
i neva plan to destroy mi love ones..
but why this person hv to do to me..
yesh..
u can have supporters..
to support n defend u..
but plish..
dey dunnoe the real u..
i suffered all along being with u..
im jus playing off with wateva shit u guis doin on me..
kos i believe..
God always protecting me..
as im typing..
im seriusli cry..
i cry..
kos mi loved ones take advantage to the trust-loyalty frm me..
i jus felt@#%&**&%$...
u being diPERMAINKAN oleh org yg dekat ngan kau..
im jus nid a way..
shld i take revenge..?
or let tings been controlled by HIM..

I will promise myself..
if tings to happen again..
i wont cried lik last time..
i wont beg 4 the sake of begging..
i wont..
i jus wont do it..
let me jus accept the fact that this bunch of pple dun deserve u..

yesh i do agree..
im jus 2 @$%^&..
but den mi life is fair..
aku dikurniakan ngan tiada sebarang perasaan iri hati-benci-revengeful..
im jus glad dat im not born to b dat..
even years cum..
i will still stick to wad i hav been given..
i will..

i jus feel dat LOVE JUS L.O.V.E
take and go..
i realised of all tis while..
i been loving the wrong person..
dey tend to tink dat im gonna hurt-fool-play their feelings..
but eventually it happens to me instead..
u see the point..?
i have been suffered dis loved-suckers syndrome for the past few yrs..
it jus painful to me...
so much painful..
i cant reali handle it animore..
buti believe God knows tthe best..
even if HE wans HIS pple to be separated den it will...
no ones can chyallenge him..
i jus hope dat the time will cum n shows to me dat dere r such person who reali love his loved ones..
without betrayin-cheat on them..
not even a plan to degrade his loved ones..
i will..one dae...to meet this person..
jus grant mi wish..
even if its so hard..
jus let this loved ones to stop it..
kos mi love for mi loved ones is infinity..
i jus hope..
miracle mit happen again..
im beggin u once..
let this STOP...

*jus accept me the way i accept u*

m.i.r.a.c.l.es...im waiting for u this round again..
Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 3:16 PM

Sunday, October 19, 2008

rayer 2008

k basically sch reali occupies ur time..

i only have sun to rest..

luckily mum cancel raya outing..

i nid to do e learning(semangat sak kau rabia!)

well..im jus dun wan to waste time..

31 oct is halloween dae

means dat i will not be attending classes..

preparation lah..

so do in advance pre-reading..

so sat leh kua..

kita enjoi!haha.

i got alot of tings to say..

but 4get it..

no time to tulispanjanglebarbuangmasajehahaha..

but seriusli..

raya reli so different..

hmm..maybe all busy with sch but jus imagine in 5 yrs times..

whereas most of us r werking den n no time to mit up..

*sob*

boring den..

i oreadi received photos of jln raya outing frm mi bestie(eryn)..

byk yg tk dapat ikut due to werk..

haiz..

kental seh..haha..

k wateva..

me-lyn-lysa(aku ttp kecik!)

wa wa wa!mcm couple!

nie org paling giler-tk btol-kuang siuman

alah siwtnyer kiter(u..jgn marah!)

k..nie gmbr semua eksyen je..kuangkuankuang..
six gorgeous swit lil babes

happy nyer kiter!!!!

ohya..i realise dat pple sux..

so do i..

we tends to find others faults..

but we dun realise we add more sial in our life..

serius..!

we tok alot..but action?

sumtimes we d contradicting to ourself..

but for wad?

we seldom satisfied with wateva we achieved..

but for how long?

wen pple denied for sumting..

dey jus BLUFF..LIE..

COS Y?

dey dun wan others to tink that they hav this lil greediness..

haha..

aite?

i knew it..

wahahaahaha..

wateva lah..tk perlu eh..

hmmm.....

well..im reali sad

for the khilangan srg kwn..

hes frm jyss..

raihan..haiz..lukili i do tok to him..

but even though not dat close..

hes reli frendly man..

didnt noe he suffered frm dat sickneess..

may allah mencuciri rohnya..

amin.

dis reali makes me tink back..

u can die anytime..

any age..

anywhere..

it doesnt stop HIM to take us away..

IT makes me realise..

no ones own this life..

m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s.?
Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 8:21 PM

Friday, October 17, 2008

ONE WORD- DIE!

SERIUSLI EAT SHIT N DIE..
DUN EVA SHOW UR FUCKING FACE
DUN EVA LET ME TOK WITH U
DUN EVA SAY SORIE
COS U'RE NOT FORGIVEN
U R JUS A PIESE OF SHIT
GET LOST
DUN EVA TINK I WILL 4GIVE U
DREAM ON FUCKERS
AS IF IM SCARED IF ANYTHING HAPPENS AHEAD
FUCKERS WONT STAY LONG
WILL BE DEFEATED ONE DAY

PS:I HAD ENUF OF URS NONSENSE N CRAPS. JUS DON TINK I WILL IGNORE IT..

M.I.R.A.C.L.E.S ?FORGET IT
Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 8:16 PM

Thursday, October 16, 2008

i couldnt tell how i feel..
-sad-happy-satisfied-stress-
but still i managed to handle it with pride!
keep the good work rabia!

ps:lame uh rabia.

m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s mit happen again
Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 11:36 PM

Monday, October 13, 2008

12 oct..
seriusli i hate todae kos y..?
will u get angri if ur loved ones doesnt bother u at all..?
instead can still enjoi his time outside with their frenz..
not oni dat..even ure sick..in great pain..
dey jus ignorin..
as if nutin serius happen..
kwn2 dier ukan nk advise dier alik cepat ke..
fyn..
im k with it..
den wen i ask to mit elsewhere..
mati-matian nk seboleh2 ikut kwn dier pe idea..
dey tink aku nie saper..
i was in great pain..
dey stil can order aku sana sini..
is dis kol fair..?
wen ur loved ones sick..
u naik turun ke hosp..
jus to c him..
nie aru sakit suwo teman g gp
tk uat langsung..
kwn impt pe..
bla kwn tkde..
aru carik aku..
aku nie kan substitue org..
i jus hate it uh d way pple treat me..
da salah drg pun masih nk pkr ukan salah drg..
dats y aku ckp..
ader matair n tkde matair pun samer..
bla org lain ajak aku kua..
mulut satu2 mcm siak..
nk carik pasal je ngan aku..
gals..if u in mi shoes will get angri..?
u tink ur loved ones will owaes there 4 u even dlm kesusahan..
p tdk..bolayan..
bla part susah je carik..
@#$^%&*#@!
nvm..
tkle uat paper..
dats y aku mcm da malas nk stead..
y..?
sal matair sendiri tk heran kau..
p jantan lain yg kisah kan kau..
malu sak..
mcm gni nk jdi laki aku..?
tk pe uh..
aku rela tk kawin sak..
seriusli..
hati aku tawar sak..
sedih sey 4 wad actuali happen todae..
plish..
guis esp..
treasure ur gals deepli..
if they say they in pain..sad,down..
better take it seriusli..
haiz..
jus not mi dae..

ps:tanx eh aim.syg kau..nnti dia byr..

m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s happen once!
Labels: One of the DAES

♥escape reality 1:16 AM

Thursday, October 9, 2008

HMM...
how should i say this..
mi heart beats every tick tock..
yearning 4 love n care frm a gui..
it seems dat i miss 25-04-06..
where me+u happens gradually..

2 years passed so fast as if like lighting up a cigar..
cant even take a sec to look back tru..
ups n down..
we oreadi faced it..
wateva happenz bfr..
it jus me n u..

im missing u every sec..
tick tock..
im loving u each dae..
more often..
it seems siao ad first cos we r not newly in rship..
im jus curious sumtimes..
wads wrong with us..?
or isit jus ME?

i may love this man of my life..
but how about him?
will his love 4 me will b more honest b pure..?
will his love frm grew rather than faded off..?
every single thoughts flooded mi minds..
wad if onedae..
the "@#$%^&%" happen again..?
will i give miself a chance again..

love sumtimes make u mature..
but sumtimes it makes u sux to the core..
foolish..
pathetic..
but LOVE prove u that u do nid the other half of u..
it seems i found him..(hopefulie)

i tank him once again..
4 showing me his Greatness..
even ani challenges frm him eva again..
all i will say..
alhamdullilah..
amin...

may allah protect mi dear syg..
sumtimes he so innocent..
so weak..
easily followed pple's say..
jus wanna him to b himself..

me+u=ridzraiz

Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 3:52 AM

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

YEsterdae went out with dearie(MUHAMMAD RIDHWAN BIN YASIN) to sumewhere dat we yearn to go..(actuali him lah)..
spent time there quite long..until we end up fil hungry..
haha..so we went town..
i lied him..
i told dat i gonna mit mi frens n as usual..
he tink dat i goin out with a gui..so..
he teman kan.
heehee..
mi idea munasbah eh..?
haha..
takla buruk nah..
i jus wan to spent time with him outside..
jus me n him..
agpun..its has been quite a long time we neva had a good times with..
so smlm we walk around n @ 10pm..shops r closed..kentalmerepek..
so no choice..we ahead to mac @ shaw house..
we took quite long sak to eat..
well..
im jus missing him..
k tak perlu eh rabia..
haha..
well.
25 oct..
we gonna hv some fun..
movie marathon..?
haha..
k lah..
wteva..

ILY..

M.I.R..A.C.L.E.S do happen..(a lil bit act)
Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 6:15 PM

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sometimes i do wonder..
y do God makes a person fall in love?
then wad do we get in return..?
pple say..1st few mths in love is so wonderful..yesh..its true..
but after dat..
it fades away..
well..
i may find stupid,foolish in lurve..
but who wants to end in terrible way..
wen u changed for a better..
ur partner tends to slipped u off..
wherelse can u seek for help..?

LOve hurts..yesh i agreed dat..
LoVe swit..yesh it does..
so wad shall you do wen ur loved ones tend to @#!$^*&%#@ u..?
shld u wait for miracles to happen..?
or let it go jus lik dat..?

sacrifice sux..
will i eva get mi real love ones?
will i able to share my life with sum1?
will i able to accept him willingly n same goes to him?
will i choose him correctly instead of other guis..?
will i..

love leads me to the reality of it..
real love oni happen..
wen u n him have 4 in common..
i still rmbr this fren of mine say so..
well..wen i tink bck..
its true..
i wont sacrifice animore..
i wont..

M.I.R.A.C.L.E.S will happen this dae!!
Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 4:07 AM

maya+farid(anak halal)

aaron+farid(kl drift)

HAIZ..i hate myself..terburu-buru nah to find the ans..org tdo lah..haha..paisey..

well..missing him like shit..dun noe y..but i tink itu dinamakan L.O.V.E. HAHA..

im not gonna do stupid mistakes eva again..mayb i will onedae..?

i loving sumone..

i missing sumone..

yeah!!

sucks uh..

im oreadi stick to farid kamil's lakonan..

he's so hot..

next-Rosyam Nor..

Got the LOOKS,SKILLS,MACHO?..

MUAHAHA..

JUS WATCH REMPIT..KL DRIFT..

ANAK HALAL..IM NOT SINGLE..APA KATA HATI..

FUYOH...

HE'S mi 1st in the LIST(beside ROSYAM NOR)..

HEHEHE..

MI LOVE tk kol its k..

FARID ader..

ngok dier je tk rasa marah kt saper2..

huahua..

FARID KAMIL..
haha..

dear..kol me soon..

M.I.R.A.C.L.E.S. can happen..
Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 12:08 AM

Monday, October 6, 2008

it sounds true to me now..
jus where art thou?
missing someone is ugly..
Labels: ME LOVE U

♥escape reality 8:22 PM

Saturday, October 4, 2008

ME+U=US

Bfr spouting nonsense..let me wish u guis slamat hari raya..maaf zahir batin..forgive mi mistakes..al-amin..

well..suddenlie i feel so lonely..

so boring

so dull..

i cant expressed dat well..

oni HIM unstand it..

i feel..

its k den..

even if i say,lament or tok about it..

it wont change the situation..

im tellin miself..

2 yrs flew faster bfr i can let go things slowlie..

2006-it was a best yr..

2007-things starts to go haywire..

2008-suprisingli tings HAPPEN..even out of my will..n a year to tink of again..

i fil depressed?sad?angry?pathetic?

i dun noe..

i fil sick each time i tink about it..

no one understand..

its not dat my loved ones didnt care about me..

they jus dun geddit..

its has been ages i kiping it to myself..

dats y Mummie told me to share with sum1..p to who...?

im such a.???hahaha.lame as i am..irritating big sucks..

well..life turn to b this way..so i nid to appreciate it..

esp wad happen to me emotionally,physically,psychologically...

everyones make mistake..

so am i..

i tk nafi kan..

im bad-stubborn-irritant..

sumtimes i hate myself..

p wad can i do..?

or uat macam2 kat aku pun aku diam je..

org pijak aku pun aku iye kan..

org cemburukan aku pun aku uat dun noe je..

org buruk-burukkan aku pun aku eksyen tk tau..

p aku tau..

all bcos God still love his hamba..

he gives her strength to face the reality of world..

p kdg2 dia je tk bersyukur nikmat tuhan..

even HE kasi penyakit ke..kemalangan ke..

masi tk sedar..

astagha..

i dun noe uh..

it jus dat i feel kejam..hmm..

i tink loneliness sumtimes kill me..

zahir n batin ku terguggut..

beristighfar sikit dibuat nyer aku..

well..

i nid to tink it again..

i wan to tink again y im on earth..aper tujuan sbnarnya aku..?

knape aku ditemukan dia..?

knape aku dikawankan ngan org2 yg aku sdg berkwn..?

knape aku dlm keadaan begini..

im jus prayin hard i can take it..

all i noe..i can...

I MISSING THEM AGAIN

m.i.r.a.c.l.e.s mite happen if we understand it...
Labels: ME-MYSELF-RAI

♥escape reality 3:20 AM